just girly things: pretending to be on the phone when you walk by a large group of men because there’s a chance they’ll harass you <333
today at the bookstore i asked the lady working if she had any lgbtq books that i could check out and her eyes magnified in what i mistook as horror and i thought i had offended her and then she said “i have a bag of lesbian fiction in the basement i’ve been waiting for someone to finally ask” and she all but burst down the stairs to get them for me
"I have a bag of lesbian fiction in the basement" is my new go-to pickup line
Girlfriend: I have so many pretzels and hummus here. I wish I had some one here to help me eat it all.
Me: I have so much vagina here and I wish I had someone here to help me eat it.